We often stick to prayers like "God, please move in this person's life." That's good. But I think it's helpful to also start praying prayers like "God, would you show me what you're already doing in his/her life?" God cares about their salvation even more than we do, and often He's already working in their hearts regardless of whether we're aware of it. Our calling is simply to partner with Him.
It reminds me of those Science Centre / Exploratorium exhibits (the good ones). Sometimes He's already been setting everything up perfectly for something fantastic... but He lets us push the button. :)
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Show me Your face
Show me Your face, Lord
Show me Your face
And gird up my legs
That I might stand in this holy place
Show me Your face, Lord
Your power and grace
I could make it to the end
If I could just
Just see Your face
Show me Your face
And gird up my legs
That I might stand in this holy place
Show me Your face, Lord
Your power and grace
I could make it to the end
If I could just
Just see Your face
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Here’s a pretty basic fundamental principle we tend to follow: If our motivation for doing something comes from the hope of attaining something, then our motivation stops when we’ve attained it, at least until we find we want that thing again. (The Economics version of this is the good ol’ fundamental principle, ‘People respond to incentives.’ But I digress.)
For instance, when I bought my car, the guy selling it was very nice and accommodating to me, and one of the things he asked me was whether I wanted to take from him this grill that separates the boot/trunk from the rear passengers (it’s a station wagon). The first owner used to have a dog so he had the grill to keep his dog securely in the boot/trunk area. I said no, didn’t see any point in taking it. Months later I realized that grill was actually worth some cash, so I emailed him asking if I could still get it from him. He said sure, he’d arrange it, but he never got back to me. And I don’t blame him – the transaction was over. And we’re not exactly friends either. There was no more point, no more incentive. But I’m sure if I’d said I wanted it before I’d paid him the money he’d have arranged to get it to me, even if I wasn’t going to give him additional money for it.
Another example; this one a little deeper. I discovered the other day while playing ping pong with a couple of friends that, although I want to win, there are moments when I try harder (and am generally more successful) and there are times when I don’t (and end up making more unforced errors). Actually my friends discovered this before I did and came up with a theory that if they give me praise and affirmation it’ll make me complacent. It was more of a joke than anything serious, but I (secretly) discovered that they were completely right. When they started praising my shots, I started caring less and trying less hard, and it was hard to get the same determination to focus back – until I lost the next point. It was kind of frustrating really.
Later I was thinking about it and asking God why it happened that way – ideally, if someone praises you it should encourage you to try harder, right?
(I’m sure God was somehow speaking to me on this, because suddenly the light went on and things that didn’t make sense before suddenly became more obvious.)
Right – provided your objective is purely to win. But if, for instance, the primary reason why you try to win (or succeed) is to gain approval from someone, then no. Once you receive the approval from that someone, you’re done. Your objective’s been reached. There’s no more reason to try. Winning would still be nice, but the reward may not be worth it anymore. (So… apparently, I have a significant desire to gain others’ approval, as evidenced by my own reaction.)
Here’s my point. First, how we respond to things reveals our motivations, and those motivations aren’t always what we expect them to be. And I think that’s okay. God never intended for us to live from the outside in, but from the inside out. He made us to live naturally from our hearts, to the extent that we sometimes do things that make no sense to our minds and we wonder where it came from. The things of the heart tend to be less obvious to us. (Luke 2:34-35: "This child [Jesus] is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, 35so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed.”) You only need to reveal something that isn’t obvious. Sometimes we like to search others’ intentions – I think once in a while we need to search our own.
Second: When you understand the fundamental principles, everything makes sense. We usually think that human nature is illogical, random and unpredictable; that there are no explanations for what others do and that it’s normal for reactions and emotions to make no sense. But that’s only true in the same way that an aeroplane flying in the sky seems completely illogical and absurd if you don’t understand Bernoulli’s principle. God made us, and God is not random. If something seems illogical, it doesn’t mean there aren’t any reasons, only that we don’t understand them.
What does that mean? It means that if you don’t understand, it’s okay ‘cos He does. It means you don’t ever have to believe in self-doubt or self-condemnation because your heart does or wants things your mind knows it shouldn’t.
It also means that if you really want to understand yourself, you have to know Him ‘cos no one except the Maker understands creation better – the creation He lovingly, carefully and intentionally made. Part of the immense joy I’ve had from discovering and understanding bits of myself is realizing that I actually make sense, that He put me together knowing what He was doing. Somehow that sense of order within myself is a really strong testament to His love for me.
We need to stop trying so hard to perform the right way when our hearts lead us somewhere else. Instead of beating ourselves up for failing to perform, we need to start asking, “what is my heart saying and why?” If you try and force something to go against what it was designed to do easily, at some point it will break. If you’re trying to park your car, and your car is going in the wrong direction, no one gets out and tries to push it sideways. Instead you stop, figure out how to turn the steering wheel so that it naturally wants to go where it should, and if you don’t know how you ask someone to teach you or help you.
By the way, if we find ourselves wanting something we know would do us harm, this doesn’t mean we should always go right ahead and do it anyway. To use the same analogy, if a car is parked at the edge of a cliff and its wheels are pointed at the cliff, you don’t go ahead and drive off it. Neither do you get out of the car and try to force it in a direction it doesn’t want to (and isn’t designed to) go. You sit down, figure out how to turn the steering wheel in the right direction, and then you go. And again, if you don’t know how, you call for help. (A caveat to that: if you do end up driving off the cliff, I believe in a God who is merciful enough to pick you up, heal you and put you back where you need to be. Sometimes He’ll even catch you before you hit the ground.)
Mind was never meant to dictate the heart, nor was heart meant to dictate the mind. There is a purpose for both, and while they may not always agree, they are designed and destined to work together. One of the greatest lies today is that if you can somehow make yourself do good things, and if you force yourself to stop the bad things you desire, it means you are a good person. But I think that what you do and who you are are not the same things at all. Yes, the sign of a good tree is that it produces good fruit. But a tree never has to try to produce fruit. What a tree does try to do is to get sunlight and water. It’ll bend its branches and trunk, use its roots to bust through concrete, just to get light and water. A tree planted in a dark place, or one that only has access to dirty water, will produce bad fruit. In the end, we’re still responsible for the fruit we produce, but if we find ourselves producing bad fruit, the solution isn’t to try harder to change what we do, but to look for the source of bad stuff, cut it off, and keep receiving good stuff.
And that’s one reason why we need God if we want to make it and make it well – only He knows what is good and what isn’t; only He knows how to redirect our roots; and only He can keep supplying us exactly what we need for all our lives. But the most important revelation in all this isn’t just that He can, but that He wants to.
God loves you.
PSALM 139
(v1-4)
O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
(v13-18)
For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.
For instance, when I bought my car, the guy selling it was very nice and accommodating to me, and one of the things he asked me was whether I wanted to take from him this grill that separates the boot/trunk from the rear passengers (it’s a station wagon). The first owner used to have a dog so he had the grill to keep his dog securely in the boot/trunk area. I said no, didn’t see any point in taking it. Months later I realized that grill was actually worth some cash, so I emailed him asking if I could still get it from him. He said sure, he’d arrange it, but he never got back to me. And I don’t blame him – the transaction was over. And we’re not exactly friends either. There was no more point, no more incentive. But I’m sure if I’d said I wanted it before I’d paid him the money he’d have arranged to get it to me, even if I wasn’t going to give him additional money for it.
Another example; this one a little deeper. I discovered the other day while playing ping pong with a couple of friends that, although I want to win, there are moments when I try harder (and am generally more successful) and there are times when I don’t (and end up making more unforced errors). Actually my friends discovered this before I did and came up with a theory that if they give me praise and affirmation it’ll make me complacent. It was more of a joke than anything serious, but I (secretly) discovered that they were completely right. When they started praising my shots, I started caring less and trying less hard, and it was hard to get the same determination to focus back – until I lost the next point. It was kind of frustrating really.
Later I was thinking about it and asking God why it happened that way – ideally, if someone praises you it should encourage you to try harder, right?
(I’m sure God was somehow speaking to me on this, because suddenly the light went on and things that didn’t make sense before suddenly became more obvious.)
Right – provided your objective is purely to win. But if, for instance, the primary reason why you try to win (or succeed) is to gain approval from someone, then no. Once you receive the approval from that someone, you’re done. Your objective’s been reached. There’s no more reason to try. Winning would still be nice, but the reward may not be worth it anymore. (So… apparently, I have a significant desire to gain others’ approval, as evidenced by my own reaction.)
Here’s my point. First, how we respond to things reveals our motivations, and those motivations aren’t always what we expect them to be. And I think that’s okay. God never intended for us to live from the outside in, but from the inside out. He made us to live naturally from our hearts, to the extent that we sometimes do things that make no sense to our minds and we wonder where it came from. The things of the heart tend to be less obvious to us. (Luke 2:34-35: "This child [Jesus] is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, 35so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed.”) You only need to reveal something that isn’t obvious. Sometimes we like to search others’ intentions – I think once in a while we need to search our own.
Second: When you understand the fundamental principles, everything makes sense. We usually think that human nature is illogical, random and unpredictable; that there are no explanations for what others do and that it’s normal for reactions and emotions to make no sense. But that’s only true in the same way that an aeroplane flying in the sky seems completely illogical and absurd if you don’t understand Bernoulli’s principle. God made us, and God is not random. If something seems illogical, it doesn’t mean there aren’t any reasons, only that we don’t understand them.
What does that mean? It means that if you don’t understand, it’s okay ‘cos He does. It means you don’t ever have to believe in self-doubt or self-condemnation because your heart does or wants things your mind knows it shouldn’t.
It also means that if you really want to understand yourself, you have to know Him ‘cos no one except the Maker understands creation better – the creation He lovingly, carefully and intentionally made. Part of the immense joy I’ve had from discovering and understanding bits of myself is realizing that I actually make sense, that He put me together knowing what He was doing. Somehow that sense of order within myself is a really strong testament to His love for me.
We need to stop trying so hard to perform the right way when our hearts lead us somewhere else. Instead of beating ourselves up for failing to perform, we need to start asking, “what is my heart saying and why?” If you try and force something to go against what it was designed to do easily, at some point it will break. If you’re trying to park your car, and your car is going in the wrong direction, no one gets out and tries to push it sideways. Instead you stop, figure out how to turn the steering wheel so that it naturally wants to go where it should, and if you don’t know how you ask someone to teach you or help you.
By the way, if we find ourselves wanting something we know would do us harm, this doesn’t mean we should always go right ahead and do it anyway. To use the same analogy, if a car is parked at the edge of a cliff and its wheels are pointed at the cliff, you don’t go ahead and drive off it. Neither do you get out of the car and try to force it in a direction it doesn’t want to (and isn’t designed to) go. You sit down, figure out how to turn the steering wheel in the right direction, and then you go. And again, if you don’t know how, you call for help. (A caveat to that: if you do end up driving off the cliff, I believe in a God who is merciful enough to pick you up, heal you and put you back where you need to be. Sometimes He’ll even catch you before you hit the ground.)
Mind was never meant to dictate the heart, nor was heart meant to dictate the mind. There is a purpose for both, and while they may not always agree, they are designed and destined to work together. One of the greatest lies today is that if you can somehow make yourself do good things, and if you force yourself to stop the bad things you desire, it means you are a good person. But I think that what you do and who you are are not the same things at all. Yes, the sign of a good tree is that it produces good fruit. But a tree never has to try to produce fruit. What a tree does try to do is to get sunlight and water. It’ll bend its branches and trunk, use its roots to bust through concrete, just to get light and water. A tree planted in a dark place, or one that only has access to dirty water, will produce bad fruit. In the end, we’re still responsible for the fruit we produce, but if we find ourselves producing bad fruit, the solution isn’t to try harder to change what we do, but to look for the source of bad stuff, cut it off, and keep receiving good stuff.
And that’s one reason why we need God if we want to make it and make it well – only He knows what is good and what isn’t; only He knows how to redirect our roots; and only He can keep supplying us exactly what we need for all our lives. But the most important revelation in all this isn’t just that He can, but that He wants to.
God loves you.
PSALM 139
(v1-4)
O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
(v13-18)
For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Ridiculous iPhone apps
Examples of apps you can download from the apple iPhone application store:
-- iFart: Makes farting sounds
-- Hold On: Hold a button for as long as you can
-- MyVibe: Vibrating iPhone
-- FatBurner2K: Burn fat by putting a shaking iPhone on your stomach
-- Nothing: Does nothing
-- iGouge: Poke an eye until it's red
-- Annoy-A-Teen: Emit a high pitch noise for teens
-- iFlush: Flush down a picture of a thing or person
-- Zit Picker: Pinch zits with two fingers
-- Sexy Girl Talk: A sexy girl reads the alphabet
-- Crazy Puppy Massacre: Shoot cartoon puppies
My favorite: An application called I Am Rich that sold for $1000. Apple banned it after 8 people bought it. Totally cracks me up.
(from http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/07/10/BU6A18L6L8.DTL&type=tech)
-- iFart: Makes farting sounds
-- Hold On: Hold a button for as long as you can
-- MyVibe: Vibrating iPhone
-- FatBurner2K: Burn fat by putting a shaking iPhone on your stomach
-- Nothing: Does nothing
-- iGouge: Poke an eye until it's red
-- Annoy-A-Teen: Emit a high pitch noise for teens
-- iFlush: Flush down a picture of a thing or person
-- Zit Picker: Pinch zits with two fingers
-- Sexy Girl Talk: A sexy girl reads the alphabet
-- Crazy Puppy Massacre: Shoot cartoon puppies
My favorite: An application called I Am Rich that sold for $1000. Apple banned it after 8 people bought it. Totally cracks me up.
(from http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/07/10/BU6A18L6L8.DTL&type=tech)
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Technology (and Google specifically) is amazing
I am at this moment in a parking lot outside Best Buy in Mountain View, using the free wireless that Google provides to its home city (i.e. Mountain View). Alan and I are trying to fix my car (the trunk light permanently stays on - we've taken out the entire locking mechanism and figured out that something in the trunk got bent so that the locking mechanism doesn't shut all the way) and the last he was here, he was saying we need to have a hammer to try and knock the bent part back into place. So I pulled up my laptop, did a quick search and found a hardware store just down the road from where we are. Possibly within walking distance. Currently waiting for Alan to return from the hardware store, and in the meantime I am marveling at the fact that I have access to free wireless internet (which works pretty well!) from the middle of a suburban carpark.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
This is good...
If doing well is part of my sense of identity, then the better I do, the more independent from God I become.
Monday, June 01, 2009
(Part of) my Cantonese Final
The cast got upgraded a little. ;) Thanks Kozey.
A video I did together with Wenqi for our Cantonese final. Starring Bertram and Cecilia.
Translation:
M: Hello, is A-Cheui around?
- Sorry, A-cheui just went out. May I ask who's speaking please?
M: This is A-Mahn, I'm his classmate. Could you please tell me when he'll be back?
- I think he should be back in an hour.
M: Great. I'll call back later then. Thanks! bye!
- You're welcome. Bye!
M: Hello, is A-Cheui there?
C: Speaking. Who is this please?
M: This is A-Mahn.
C: Oh! A-Mahn, hi!!
M: The holidays are coming up - I'm thinking of going on a trip. How about you?
C: I'd like to go on a trip too. Where do you want to go?
M: I really want to go to Hong Kong. Have you been to Hong Kong before?
C: Yeap, I've been to Hong Kong once. But I don't mind going again!
M: Is Hong Kong a fun place to visit?
C: Oh yes. The scenery there is nice, transportation is really convenient, and the food is really yummy.
M: That's great! When did you go?
C: I went there in August last year. Where in Hong Kong would you want to go?
M: I've heard people say that Victoria Harbour, the Big Buddha and the Museum of Coastal Defense are must-sees.
C: Ok. Also, I haven't been to Ocean Park before, what say you we go together?
M: Sure! Hrm. How long do you think we should spend in Hong Kong?
C: I think about 5 days or so should be enough.
M: Ok. Do you know what the weather in Hong Kong is like in June?
C: Hong Kong's weather in June is generally hot and humid. It won't rain at all.
M: Oh ok, so we should bring t-shirts, shorts, sandals and a cap too.
C: AND lots of cash if you want to go shopping. Stuff there is pretty expensive.
M: Sure. Is the food there expensive too?
C: Eh... depends on where you eat. The noodle houses aren't expensive. The food they sell there is all really good. You can order wonton noodles, mixed pork porridge, vegetables in oyster sauce and many other things.
M: Wahhh... You're making me hungry! Hey, why don't we go grab some dim sum?
C: Sure! We can talk more when we're there.
M: 1 o'clock, Fu Lam Mun Restaurant at Castro Street. Okay?
C: Sounds good. See you then. Bye!
M: Bye!
A video I did together with Wenqi for our Cantonese final. Starring Bertram and Cecilia.
Translation:
M: Hello, is A-Cheui around?
- Sorry, A-cheui just went out. May I ask who's speaking please?
M: This is A-Mahn, I'm his classmate. Could you please tell me when he'll be back?
- I think he should be back in an hour.
M: Great. I'll call back later then. Thanks! bye!
- You're welcome. Bye!
M: Hello, is A-Cheui there?
C: Speaking. Who is this please?
M: This is A-Mahn.
C: Oh! A-Mahn, hi!!
M: The holidays are coming up - I'm thinking of going on a trip. How about you?
C: I'd like to go on a trip too. Where do you want to go?
M: I really want to go to Hong Kong. Have you been to Hong Kong before?
C: Yeap, I've been to Hong Kong once. But I don't mind going again!
M: Is Hong Kong a fun place to visit?
C: Oh yes. The scenery there is nice, transportation is really convenient, and the food is really yummy.
M: That's great! When did you go?
C: I went there in August last year. Where in Hong Kong would you want to go?
M: I've heard people say that Victoria Harbour, the Big Buddha and the Museum of Coastal Defense are must-sees.
C: Ok. Also, I haven't been to Ocean Park before, what say you we go together?
M: Sure! Hrm. How long do you think we should spend in Hong Kong?
C: I think about 5 days or so should be enough.
M: Ok. Do you know what the weather in Hong Kong is like in June?
C: Hong Kong's weather in June is generally hot and humid. It won't rain at all.
M: Oh ok, so we should bring t-shirts, shorts, sandals and a cap too.
C: AND lots of cash if you want to go shopping. Stuff there is pretty expensive.
M: Sure. Is the food there expensive too?
C: Eh... depends on where you eat. The noodle houses aren't expensive. The food they sell there is all really good. You can order wonton noodles, mixed pork porridge, vegetables in oyster sauce and many other things.
M: Wahhh... You're making me hungry! Hey, why don't we go grab some dim sum?
C: Sure! We can talk more when we're there.
M: 1 o'clock, Fu Lam Mun Restaurant at Castro Street. Okay?
C: Sounds good. See you then. Bye!
M: Bye!
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