Musings on Engrish

From straitstimes.com:

"SINGAPORE may have cut its corporate income tax rate to a relatively low 17 per cent, but it is not a tax haven, Senior Minister of State for Finance and Transport Lim Hwee Hua said yesterday.

That is because the Republic has a strong rule of law, and companies based here have concrete business activities. This is unlike other tax havens..." (emphasis added)

I know I'm being picky, but does anyone else notice the contradiction?

Of course, I'm sure if I wrote stuff in a Chinese newspaper I'd have a ton of linguistic errors far worse than that. But that's why I'm writing in an English blog and not a Chinese newspaper. I wonder how hard it actually is in practice to do linguistic checks on all the articles in a newspaper. Maybe there actually are a lot more tiny errors in the Asian Wall Street Journal or the New York Times than we'd be inclined to think.

On that note, has anyone noticed that every country that has ever adopted English as their primary language has eventually developed its own version of it? And nobody's ever ashamed of it. In fact usually they're proud of it. Heck, even individual states in the U.S. have their own slang and vocabulary. For instance, in the U.S., you say "standing in line" instead of "queueing up", EXCEPT in New York (and New Jersey too I think) where you say "standing on line" instead. Amazing isn't it?

So why is it that nobody in Singapore understands the concept of developing our own 'proper' version of the language? By that I don't mean the intellectual study and production of the Rules and Regulations of Singaporean English by some Official National Singaporean English Departmental Committee or the likes (that would be really sad and hilarious at the same time), but just the simple organic development of a localised version of the language that isn't just regarded as uneducated slang. Everything in us wants to do what every other society in the existence of the world has always wanted to do and adapt the language we have inherited to our own context and culture. But our standard of "correct" English continues to be what has developed in a foreign country, culture and context over centuries, and we beat ourselves down when our cultural instincts produce a language that is inconsistent with that. No wonder hardly anyone in Singapore speaks "good" English, and those that do often have others thinking that they must have grown up somewhere else. Granted, the language did originate from somewhere else - but it's ours now.

Let it be clear, though, that I'm not arguing against the lack of Singaporean English - I'm arguing against the mindset that we must prevent such a 'monstrosity' from evolving, in order to ensure our long run survival in the world. Do we really want to kill off our own cultural instincts for the sake of money? We may be the most modernized country in South-East Asia, but let's not try to be the most bland too.

I suppose the same can be said of Mandarin, but I'm not really in a place to argue that. Don't know much about the different linguistic developments of Mandarin in different parts of China or in Chinese communities in different countries. And my Mandarin is actually authentically sub-par. Yup, I do think there is such a thing as bad Chinese. And bad English. No matter how much English evolves in Singapore, I still think that the hawker centre sign that says "There are more sitting at the rear" will never be considered grammatically correct. (http://english.stomp.com.sg/english/photos/1018_eng_rear.jpg)

Yes, there is bad English. But just because our English is different doesn't mean it's bad. Let me share one of my proudest moments of being a Singaporean that comes up over and over again. I am absolutely thrilled every time an American asks me what language I'm speaking when they overhear me speaking English in my Singaporean accent to Singaporean friends. I love it even more when I tell them it's English and they go, "no, that other language". And then after I explain that it's just English in a different accent, they look really confused and start apologizing while trying to make sense of it in their heads, and I'm still reveling in abundant delight. I'm not exaggerating, I really do love it. And even if I had trouble communicating with Americans for the rest of my life, I still wouldn't want that to change. I've never been prouder of "bad" English in my life.

So yes, I speak English, and I'm proud of it. And after living in the U.S. for over 2 years, I can speak a little American too. But don't expect me to be speaking British. (Unless you're British and you don't understand me - I'll try learning it just for you. Really.) And I hope and pray that 40 years from today, after I've had the chance to communicate with many more people from many more places around the world, my native tongue will still and forever continue to confound non-natives.

I find this hilarious

From the San Francisco Chronicle, on London's largest snowfall in 18 years which fell in London Sunday night and Monday:

"In the southwestern city of Bristol, zookeepers said a group of lion-tailed macaque monkeys were spotted making and eating snowballs. Police in Wales scolded children after officers fielded double the usual number of complaint calls — most from adults complaining about young people hurling snowballs."