Monday, March 30, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
And the heavens opened up...
It's 3:05pm. I'm 10 minutes early, and I've finished my last final. Well, it's only 10 minutes. I'll do a last flip through my answers to make sure I answered everything.
3:15pm. The TA still isn't here yet. What gives?
3:18pm. About 4 other people around me are packing up and leaving. I figure I'm not going to wait any more, just turn it in and leave. We enter the elevator, about 4 other people talking at the top of their voices about how questions 1 2 and 3 were so similar. It's a small elevator guys, don't need to yell. Then again I guess 3 hours of repressed silence needs to be let out somehow.
We meet the TA as we exit the elevator, and he says take care and have a good break. You too! Amidst the chatter, we step outside and immediately I realize something feels different. The air smells the same, the sun looks just as bright, but something's different. I guess this is what freedom feels like. You never notice the cloudy burden you've let settle around you until it's gone.
Seriously, things feel different. I walk back with a slightly slower step than 3 hours ago when I walked to my last final. I look up and the sky - 3 hours before perfectly blue and completely cloudless - is now littered with smatterings of cloud, blown about by the wind of God's breath. Light streaks of white here, a little dash of it there, and voila! A beautiful cloudless blue sky made even more beautiful by the Artist who paints with the wind and colors with the sun. 2 planes landing at San Francisco airport pass by as I look up.
This is what Freedom feels like. The world is suddenly my oyster. I can go anywhere now, be in any place, do anything, be with anyone. The invisible walls have been lifted - I couldn't see them before, but I can feel that they're gone. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. This is only a taste, like the tiny sample of chocolate ice cream you get before the real thing, the large enough to make you love it but not enough to satisfy.
Well, I'm going to enjoy it while it's here. Mexico, here I come!
3:15pm. The TA still isn't here yet. What gives?
3:18pm. About 4 other people around me are packing up and leaving. I figure I'm not going to wait any more, just turn it in and leave. We enter the elevator, about 4 other people talking at the top of their voices about how questions 1 2 and 3 were so similar. It's a small elevator guys, don't need to yell. Then again I guess 3 hours of repressed silence needs to be let out somehow.
We meet the TA as we exit the elevator, and he says take care and have a good break. You too! Amidst the chatter, we step outside and immediately I realize something feels different. The air smells the same, the sun looks just as bright, but something's different. I guess this is what freedom feels like. You never notice the cloudy burden you've let settle around you until it's gone.
Seriously, things feel different. I walk back with a slightly slower step than 3 hours ago when I walked to my last final. I look up and the sky - 3 hours before perfectly blue and completely cloudless - is now littered with smatterings of cloud, blown about by the wind of God's breath. Light streaks of white here, a little dash of it there, and voila! A beautiful cloudless blue sky made even more beautiful by the Artist who paints with the wind and colors with the sun. 2 planes landing at San Francisco airport pass by as I look up.
This is what Freedom feels like. The world is suddenly my oyster. I can go anywhere now, be in any place, do anything, be with anyone. The invisible walls have been lifted - I couldn't see them before, but I can feel that they're gone. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. This is only a taste, like the tiny sample of chocolate ice cream you get before the real thing, the large enough to make you love it but not enough to satisfy.
Well, I'm going to enjoy it while it's here. Mexico, here I come!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Musings on Engrish
From straitstimes.com:
"SINGAPORE may have cut its corporate income tax rate to a relatively low 17 per cent, but it is not a tax haven, Senior Minister of State for Finance and Transport Lim Hwee Hua said yesterday.
That is because the Republic has a strong rule of law, and companies based here have concrete business activities. This is unlike other tax havens..." (emphasis added)
I know I'm being picky, but does anyone else notice the contradiction?
Of course, I'm sure if I wrote stuff in a Chinese newspaper I'd have a ton of linguistic errors far worse than that. But that's why I'm writing in an English blog and not a Chinese newspaper. I wonder how hard it actually is in practice to do linguistic checks on all the articles in a newspaper. Maybe there actually are a lot more tiny errors in the Asian Wall Street Journal or the New York Times than we'd be inclined to think.
On that note, has anyone noticed that every country that has ever adopted English as their primary language has eventually developed its own version of it? And nobody's ever ashamed of it. In fact usually they're proud of it. Heck, even individual states in the U.S. have their own slang and vocabulary. For instance, in the U.S., you say "standing in line" instead of "queueing up", EXCEPT in New York (and New Jersey too I think) where you say "standing on line" instead. Amazing isn't it?
So why is it that nobody in Singapore understands the concept of developing our own 'proper' version of the language? By that I don't mean the intellectual study and production of the Rules and Regulations of Singaporean English by some Official National Singaporean English Departmental Committee or the likes (that would be really sad and hilarious at the same time), but just the simple organic development of a localised version of the language that isn't just regarded as uneducated slang. Everything in us wants to do what every other society in the existence of the world has always wanted to do and adapt the language we have inherited to our own context and culture. But our standard of "correct" English continues to be what has developed in a foreign country, culture and context over centuries, and we beat ourselves down when our cultural instincts produce a language that is inconsistent with that. No wonder hardly anyone in Singapore speaks "good" English, and those that do often have others thinking that they must have grown up somewhere else. Granted, the language did originate from somewhere else - but it's ours now.
Let it be clear, though, that I'm not arguing against the lack of Singaporean English - I'm arguing against the mindset that we must prevent such a 'monstrosity' from evolving, in order to ensure our long run survival in the world. Do we really want to kill off our own cultural instincts for the sake of money? We may be the most modernized country in South-East Asia, but let's not try to be the most bland too.
I suppose the same can be said of Mandarin, but I'm not really in a place to argue that. Don't know much about the different linguistic developments of Mandarin in different parts of China or in Chinese communities in different countries. And my Mandarin is actually authentically sub-par. Yup, I do think there is such a thing as bad Chinese. And bad English. No matter how much English evolves in Singapore, I still think that the hawker centre sign that says "There are more sitting at the rear" will never be considered grammatically correct. (http://english.stomp.com.sg/english/photos/1018_eng_rear.jpg)
Yes, there is bad English. But just because our English is different doesn't mean it's bad. Let me share one of my proudest moments of being a Singaporean that comes up over and over again. I am absolutely thrilled every time an American asks me what language I'm speaking when they overhear me speaking English in my Singaporean accent to Singaporean friends. I love it even more when I tell them it's English and they go, "no, that other language". And then after I explain that it's just English in a different accent, they look really confused and start apologizing while trying to make sense of it in their heads, and I'm still reveling in abundant delight. I'm not exaggerating, I really do love it. And even if I had trouble communicating with Americans for the rest of my life, I still wouldn't want that to change. I've never been prouder of "bad" English in my life.
So yes, I speak English, and I'm proud of it. And after living in the U.S. for over 2 years, I can speak a little American too. But don't expect me to be speaking British. (Unless you're British and you don't understand me - I'll try learning it just for you. Really.) And I hope and pray that 40 years from today, after I've had the chance to communicate with many more people from many more places around the world, my native tongue will still and forever continue to confound non-natives.
"SINGAPORE may have cut its corporate income tax rate to a relatively low 17 per cent, but it is not a tax haven, Senior Minister of State for Finance and Transport Lim Hwee Hua said yesterday.
That is because the Republic has a strong rule of law, and companies based here have concrete business activities. This is unlike other tax havens..." (emphasis added)
I know I'm being picky, but does anyone else notice the contradiction?
Of course, I'm sure if I wrote stuff in a Chinese newspaper I'd have a ton of linguistic errors far worse than that. But that's why I'm writing in an English blog and not a Chinese newspaper. I wonder how hard it actually is in practice to do linguistic checks on all the articles in a newspaper. Maybe there actually are a lot more tiny errors in the Asian Wall Street Journal or the New York Times than we'd be inclined to think.
On that note, has anyone noticed that every country that has ever adopted English as their primary language has eventually developed its own version of it? And nobody's ever ashamed of it. In fact usually they're proud of it. Heck, even individual states in the U.S. have their own slang and vocabulary. For instance, in the U.S., you say "standing in line" instead of "queueing up", EXCEPT in New York (and New Jersey too I think) where you say "standing on line" instead. Amazing isn't it?
So why is it that nobody in Singapore understands the concept of developing our own 'proper' version of the language? By that I don't mean the intellectual study and production of the Rules and Regulations of Singaporean English by some Official National Singaporean English Departmental Committee or the likes (that would be really sad and hilarious at the same time), but just the simple organic development of a localised version of the language that isn't just regarded as uneducated slang. Everything in us wants to do what every other society in the existence of the world has always wanted to do and adapt the language we have inherited to our own context and culture. But our standard of "correct" English continues to be what has developed in a foreign country, culture and context over centuries, and we beat ourselves down when our cultural instincts produce a language that is inconsistent with that. No wonder hardly anyone in Singapore speaks "good" English, and those that do often have others thinking that they must have grown up somewhere else. Granted, the language did originate from somewhere else - but it's ours now.
Let it be clear, though, that I'm not arguing against the lack of Singaporean English - I'm arguing against the mindset that we must prevent such a 'monstrosity' from evolving, in order to ensure our long run survival in the world. Do we really want to kill off our own cultural instincts for the sake of money? We may be the most modernized country in South-East Asia, but let's not try to be the most bland too.
I suppose the same can be said of Mandarin, but I'm not really in a place to argue that. Don't know much about the different linguistic developments of Mandarin in different parts of China or in Chinese communities in different countries. And my Mandarin is actually authentically sub-par. Yup, I do think there is such a thing as bad Chinese. And bad English. No matter how much English evolves in Singapore, I still think that the hawker centre sign that says "There are more sitting at the rear" will never be considered grammatically correct. (http://english.stomp.com.sg/english/photos/1018_eng_rear.jpg)
Yes, there is bad English. But just because our English is different doesn't mean it's bad. Let me share one of my proudest moments of being a Singaporean that comes up over and over again. I am absolutely thrilled every time an American asks me what language I'm speaking when they overhear me speaking English in my Singaporean accent to Singaporean friends. I love it even more when I tell them it's English and they go, "no, that other language". And then after I explain that it's just English in a different accent, they look really confused and start apologizing while trying to make sense of it in their heads, and I'm still reveling in abundant delight. I'm not exaggerating, I really do love it. And even if I had trouble communicating with Americans for the rest of my life, I still wouldn't want that to change. I've never been prouder of "bad" English in my life.
So yes, I speak English, and I'm proud of it. And after living in the U.S. for over 2 years, I can speak a little American too. But don't expect me to be speaking British. (Unless you're British and you don't understand me - I'll try learning it just for you. Really.) And I hope and pray that 40 years from today, after I've had the chance to communicate with many more people from many more places around the world, my native tongue will still and forever continue to confound non-natives.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
I find this hilarious
From the San Francisco Chronicle, on London's largest snowfall in 18 years which fell in London Sunday night and Monday:
"In the southwestern city of Bristol, zookeepers said a group of lion-tailed macaque monkeys were spotted making and eating snowballs. Police in Wales scolded children after officers fielded double the usual number of complaint calls — most from adults complaining about young people hurling snowballs."
"In the southwestern city of Bristol, zookeepers said a group of lion-tailed macaque monkeys were spotted making and eating snowballs. Police in Wales scolded children after officers fielded double the usual number of complaint calls — most from adults complaining about young people hurling snowballs."
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Dr. YHWH
A lot of us in church have heard someone refer to God as a doctor. Often it's in reference to His power and willingness to do miracles of physical healing, and many times it's to do with emotional healing too. But I just had this revelation today as I was sitting in Jack In The Box with Shaowei and De Wen. The mental picture many of us (like me) get when we think of the kind of doctor God is is a G.P., a family doctor. He cares, He's nice to you, He listens to your problems, and then He gives you a bunch of different kinds of pills and sends you on your way, saying "here, take these, go home and follow the prescription and you'll get better." The subtle implication is "If you don't, I can't guarantee you'll get better and you only have yourself to blame for not following my directions." And so we try different methods. We try believing in faith, praying prayers of faith, watching our words and keeping our lips clean, staying faithful in our Bible reading or our quiet time. We try praising God, speaking in tongues, being faithful in our tithes and offerings, all in the hope that our faithfulness will bring about completeness and restoration.
But I realized, God isn't like that. He's more like a surgeon, the kind who meets you before the surgery to assure you that even though He can't explain everything he's going to do, it'll be alright and you don't have to worry. Then you go in, unconscious, and He painstakingly goes in to fix what He deems is in need of fixing, taking every effort and every minute and hour that's necessary to get the job done. Then He sews you back up, you wake up and He comes in with a smile on His face and says you're going to be okay and that you were very brave to go through this. He's the kind of doctor who will never force you to lie down on his operating table, but will only operate on you once you stop struggling completely and be willing to lay yourself down at His mercy. And He's the kind of doctor who, even if you go out after the surgery and do something to get injured again, won't be angry at you for being silly. Instead, He welcomes you with a gentle sense of urgency, operates on whatever needs operating on, and tells you that you were not only brave this time too, but you were also wise to come back to Him again instead of staying away out of shame or guilt.
And the best part of all this is, I don't have to know what's wrong or how to fix myself. Like Shaowei said, I (we) have got to learn not just to believe that God can and wants to heal, but to also learn to give Him the healing. I can try and fix myself, but it won't work. All I have to do is lay myself down and let Him do the rest according to His own timing and will; a will that is good and perfect not just for the sake of the rest of the world, but for mine too, because He cares for me. And in this relationship, because He laid (lays) Himself down for me, I am free to lay myself down for Him.
But I realized, God isn't like that. He's more like a surgeon, the kind who meets you before the surgery to assure you that even though He can't explain everything he's going to do, it'll be alright and you don't have to worry. Then you go in, unconscious, and He painstakingly goes in to fix what He deems is in need of fixing, taking every effort and every minute and hour that's necessary to get the job done. Then He sews you back up, you wake up and He comes in with a smile on His face and says you're going to be okay and that you were very brave to go through this. He's the kind of doctor who will never force you to lie down on his operating table, but will only operate on you once you stop struggling completely and be willing to lay yourself down at His mercy. And He's the kind of doctor who, even if you go out after the surgery and do something to get injured again, won't be angry at you for being silly. Instead, He welcomes you with a gentle sense of urgency, operates on whatever needs operating on, and tells you that you were not only brave this time too, but you were also wise to come back to Him again instead of staying away out of shame or guilt.
And the best part of all this is, I don't have to know what's wrong or how to fix myself. Like Shaowei said, I (we) have got to learn not just to believe that God can and wants to heal, but to also learn to give Him the healing. I can try and fix myself, but it won't work. All I have to do is lay myself down and let Him do the rest according to His own timing and will; a will that is good and perfect not just for the sake of the rest of the world, but for mine too, because He cares for me. And in this relationship, because He laid (lays) Himself down for me, I am free to lay myself down for Him.
Friday, December 12, 2008
100th post: I'm almost done with finals!
Yeah! It's been an amazing finals week. Since last Thursday, I've had one thing due/happening every day (excluding the weekend) so I'm really glad that my finals are only ending tomorrow. Most people usually complain that their finals don't end earlier, but if mine ended any earlier I would've been much more pressed for time. So it's really a blessing that everything's so evenly spread out.
Finally got done with my Music 220A project today. Finished it in a total of 6.5 hours. Ideally I was supposed to have started it a while ago, and I guess technically I did but I did the bulk of the work today. Basically what I did was to write and record a musical piece using recordings of water - water droplets, the shower, a fountain, water cooler etc. Some of the sounds are raw, most of the sounds are processed at least a little using a computer program called ChucK, and a few of the sounds are synthesized like crazy. If you're interested to hear it, you can take a listen here , or right-click on the link and select "save source as" to download it.
And yup, even those broad chords in the second half are from a water source. Specifically, a fountain (the same sound that you hear in the background a couple of times that sounds kinda like rain). I think the theory of how that happened was the script I wrote constructed a delay every 500 or so samples, and at the high sample rate of 48kHz, that ended up producing a tone in and of itself rather than merely altering the original sound. By changing the frequency of the delay (i.e. 400 samples, 300 samples etc.) I could change the pitch. So it actually took a while to come up with those chords.
I like them though. I like the whole piece in general, even though some things didn't quite work out perfectly - like some of the stuff sound out of time even though they were supposed to all line up. But it doesn't matter too much. I like the piece - it's sort of calming. I don't know if I'm reading too much into it (I don't think I am), but I feel like it's a prayer for rain (hence the title Raindance). Not physical rain, but the kind of rain that softens dry ground and parched hearts; the kind of rain that is refreshing and nourishing, that softens soil for roots to go deeper and mends the cracks in hardened hearts. God's already begun to water the dry ground(s) a little here and a little there, but it's not enough and more rain is coming.
One more final tomorrow! I'm not worried about it. It's challenging, but somehow I feel really at peace with the fact that even in the midst of studying I need to, and should, take care of myself. Like it's actually more worth it to take some time to do nothing, or to write a blog entry, and of course to sleep, than it is to study more or cram more practice problems.
In other news... I'm officially an Econ Major!! Yeah!!! I'm so glad I finally declared. And it was such a blessing too. By right I can't declare this week - I can submit the online system request and submit the forms but the department says they won't approve it until next quarter. But I went to see my advisor two days ago, submitted my forms and requested to declare last night at around 2am. And it got approved this morning in just a matter of 8 hours! Yay. =)
God's just been really good to me this week. Not that there haven't been downsides or challenges. But it's like He suddenly awakened me to a new realization of His goodness during what's supposed to be the most pressurizing or intense week of the quarter. Funny. He would choose this week to do that.
Finally got done with my Music 220A project today. Finished it in a total of 6.5 hours. Ideally I was supposed to have started it a while ago, and I guess technically I did but I did the bulk of the work today. Basically what I did was to write and record a musical piece using recordings of water - water droplets, the shower, a fountain, water cooler etc. Some of the sounds are raw, most of the sounds are processed at least a little using a computer program called ChucK, and a few of the sounds are synthesized like crazy. If you're interested to hear it, you can take a listen here , or right-click on the link and select "save source as" to download it.
And yup, even those broad chords in the second half are from a water source. Specifically, a fountain (the same sound that you hear in the background a couple of times that sounds kinda like rain). I think the theory of how that happened was the script I wrote constructed a delay every 500 or so samples, and at the high sample rate of 48kHz, that ended up producing a tone in and of itself rather than merely altering the original sound. By changing the frequency of the delay (i.e. 400 samples, 300 samples etc.) I could change the pitch. So it actually took a while to come up with those chords.
I like them though. I like the whole piece in general, even though some things didn't quite work out perfectly - like some of the stuff sound out of time even though they were supposed to all line up. But it doesn't matter too much. I like the piece - it's sort of calming. I don't know if I'm reading too much into it (I don't think I am), but I feel like it's a prayer for rain (hence the title Raindance). Not physical rain, but the kind of rain that softens dry ground and parched hearts; the kind of rain that is refreshing and nourishing, that softens soil for roots to go deeper and mends the cracks in hardened hearts. God's already begun to water the dry ground(s) a little here and a little there, but it's not enough and more rain is coming.
One more final tomorrow! I'm not worried about it. It's challenging, but somehow I feel really at peace with the fact that even in the midst of studying I need to, and should, take care of myself. Like it's actually more worth it to take some time to do nothing, or to write a blog entry, and of course to sleep, than it is to study more or cram more practice problems.
In other news... I'm officially an Econ Major!! Yeah!!! I'm so glad I finally declared. And it was such a blessing too. By right I can't declare this week - I can submit the online system request and submit the forms but the department says they won't approve it until next quarter. But I went to see my advisor two days ago, submitted my forms and requested to declare last night at around 2am. And it got approved this morning in just a matter of 8 hours! Yay. =)
God's just been really good to me this week. Not that there haven't been downsides or challenges. But it's like He suddenly awakened me to a new realization of His goodness during what's supposed to be the most pressurizing or intense week of the quarter. Funny. He would choose this week to do that.
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