Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Here’s a pretty basic fundamental principle we tend to follow: If our motivation for doing something comes from the hope of attaining something, then our motivation stops when we’ve attained it, at least until we find we want that thing again. (The Economics version of this is the good ol’ fundamental principle, ‘People respond to incentives.’ But I digress.)

For instance, when I bought my car, the guy selling it was very nice and accommodating to me, and one of the things he asked me was whether I wanted to take from him this grill that separates the boot/trunk from the rear passengers (it’s a station wagon). The first owner used to have a dog so he had the grill to keep his dog securely in the boot/trunk area. I said no, didn’t see any point in taking it. Months later I realized that grill was actually worth some cash, so I emailed him asking if I could still get it from him. He said sure, he’d arrange it, but he never got back to me. And I don’t blame him – the transaction was over. And we’re not exactly friends either. There was no more point, no more incentive. But I’m sure if I’d said I wanted it before I’d paid him the money he’d have arranged to get it to me, even if I wasn’t going to give him additional money for it.

Another example; this one a little deeper. I discovered the other day while playing ping pong with a couple of friends that, although I want to win, there are moments when I try harder (and am generally more successful) and there are times when I don’t (and end up making more unforced errors). Actually my friends discovered this before I did and came up with a theory that if they give me praise and affirmation it’ll make me complacent. It was more of a joke than anything serious, but I (secretly) discovered that they were completely right. When they started praising my shots, I started caring less and trying less hard, and it was hard to get the same determination to focus back – until I lost the next point. It was kind of frustrating really.

Later I was thinking about it and asking God why it happened that way – ideally, if someone praises you it should encourage you to try harder, right?

(I’m sure God was somehow speaking to me on this, because suddenly the light went on and things that didn’t make sense before suddenly became more obvious.)

Right – provided your objective is purely to win. But if, for instance, the primary reason why you try to win (or succeed) is to gain approval from someone, then no. Once you receive the approval from that someone, you’re done. Your objective’s been reached. There’s no more reason to try. Winning would still be nice, but the reward may not be worth it anymore. (So… apparently, I have a significant desire to gain others’ approval, as evidenced by my own reaction.)

Here’s my point. First, how we respond to things reveals our motivations, and those motivations aren’t always what we expect them to be. And I think that’s okay. God never intended for us to live from the outside in, but from the inside out. He made us to live naturally from our hearts, to the extent that we sometimes do things that make no sense to our minds and we wonder where it came from. The things of the heart tend to be less obvious to us. (Luke 2:34-35: "This child [Jesus] is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, 35so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed.”) You only need to reveal something that isn’t obvious. Sometimes we like to search others’ intentions – I think once in a while we need to search our own.

Second: When you understand the fundamental principles, everything makes sense. We usually think that human nature is illogical, random and unpredictable; that there are no explanations for what others do and that it’s normal for reactions and emotions to make no sense. But that’s only true in the same way that an aeroplane flying in the sky seems completely illogical and absurd if you don’t understand Bernoulli’s principle. God made us, and God is not random. If something seems illogical, it doesn’t mean there aren’t any reasons, only that we don’t understand them.

What does that mean? It means that if you don’t understand, it’s okay ‘cos He does. It means you don’t ever have to believe in self-doubt or self-condemnation because your heart does or wants things your mind knows it shouldn’t.

It also means that if you really want to understand yourself, you have to know Him ‘cos no one except the Maker understands creation better – the creation He lovingly, carefully and intentionally made. Part of the immense joy I’ve had from discovering and understanding bits of myself is realizing that I actually make sense, that He put me together knowing what He was doing. Somehow that sense of order within myself is a really strong testament to His love for me.

We need to stop trying so hard to perform the right way when our hearts lead us somewhere else. Instead of beating ourselves up for failing to perform, we need to start asking, “what is my heart saying and why?” If you try and force something to go against what it was designed to do easily, at some point it will break. If you’re trying to park your car, and your car is going in the wrong direction, no one gets out and tries to push it sideways. Instead you stop, figure out how to turn the steering wheel so that it naturally wants to go where it should, and if you don’t know how you ask someone to teach you or help you.

By the way, if we find ourselves wanting something we know would do us harm, this doesn’t mean we should always go right ahead and do it anyway. To use the same analogy, if a car is parked at the edge of a cliff and its wheels are pointed at the cliff, you don’t go ahead and drive off it. Neither do you get out of the car and try to force it in a direction it doesn’t want to (and isn’t designed to) go. You sit down, figure out how to turn the steering wheel in the right direction, and then you go. And again, if you don’t know how, you call for help. (A caveat to that: if you do end up driving off the cliff, I believe in a God who is merciful enough to pick you up, heal you and put you back where you need to be. Sometimes He’ll even catch you before you hit the ground.)

Mind was never meant to dictate the heart, nor was heart meant to dictate the mind. There is a purpose for both, and while they may not always agree, they are designed and destined to work together. One of the greatest lies today is that if you can somehow make yourself do good things, and if you force yourself to stop the bad things you desire, it means you are a good person. But I think that what you do and who you are are not the same things at all. Yes, the sign of a good tree is that it produces good fruit. But a tree never has to try to produce fruit. What a tree does try to do is to get sunlight and water. It’ll bend its branches and trunk, use its roots to bust through concrete, just to get light and water. A tree planted in a dark place, or one that only has access to dirty water, will produce bad fruit. In the end, we’re still responsible for the fruit we produce, but if we find ourselves producing bad fruit, the solution isn’t to try harder to change what we do, but to look for the source of bad stuff, cut it off, and keep receiving good stuff.

And that’s one reason why we need God if we want to make it and make it well – only He knows what is good and what isn’t; only He knows how to redirect our roots; and only He can keep supplying us exactly what we need for all our lives. But the most important revelation in all this isn’t just that He can, but that He wants to.

God loves you.



PSALM 139

(v1-4)
O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
     You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
     And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
     But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.


(v13-18)
For You formed my inward parts;
     You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
     Marvelous are Your works,
     And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
     When I was made in secret,
     And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
     And in Your book they all were written,
     The days fashioned for me,
     When as yet there were none of them.

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
     How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
     When I awake, I am still with You.