At Lisa & Daniel's place in SF. My first thought when I entered: where's the remote for the air con? And then I realized there isn't one. Feels weird not to have air-conditioning again. It also feels weird to just be here in the Bay Area again. The air is so nice and fresh and cool, the sky is bright, everything looks familiar... and yet it feels, once again, like I'm a little out of place. This summer was too long and I spent way too much of it in the working world. Now I'm not sure I dare to seek again the freedom I loved experiencing and pursuing at Stanford, the newfound freedom God's brought me into over the past 3 years, if it's only going to be taken away again next July/August when I start work again. I wish I didn't have to take time to get used to this place all over again. The sad thing is, a part of me knows that whatever differences between Stanford and Singapore that I get used to now, I'll have to unlearn all over again in a short 9-10 months time.
It was quite a journey getting here. Jirong waited with me and all my luggage on a crowded street in Hong Kong for the bus. Took the bus to the HK airport and boarded a 11+hour flight. Slept about 2 hours on the plane, read about 80 pages of this Isaac Asimov book my dad lent me and watched 3 full movies. Got out of my seat once in the whole 11+ hours. In the process of this flight, the stewardess was giving out immigration forms and she rather insistently convinced me that I needed the green one (i.e. for visa-waiver countries like Singapore) and not the white one. When I gave her a puzzled look and said I have a student visa and I've never filled in the green one before, she said "well in that case I could just take the [green] form back" without offering a white one to me. Silly me let her half-guilt-trip-half-convince me into taking the green one, only to find out at immigration that I was right all along. Then, in order to get from the airport to Daniel's place, I had to take a BART train 1 stop north to San Bruno, then take another BART train 1 stop in the opposite direction (south) to Millbrae, to finally switch directions again and catch the northbound Caltrain to San Francisco, because although the Caltrain links up with the airport BART line at Millbrae, it only does so on weekends, and weekdays after 7pm, so when it's not then there's no direct connection between the airport and the Caltrain. :/ Why couldn't they just connect the Caltrain to the airport BART at San Bruno instead?? I also had to wait for the Caltrain for about 25 minutes. And this whole complicated train journey that would've only taken me 10-15 minutes to drive but took me almost 2 whole hours cost me US$8.25. REALLY makes me miss the efficient and cheap transportation networks in Singapore and HK already.
But I bet my mood'll pick up after I get some rest. And I'm sure I'll feel better once I get my car back. :D
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
My spoof of David Letterman: Top 10 Thoughts about HK on my first day here
Warning: Not funny like David Letterman's List
10. This hostel we're staying at (Dragon Hostel) is awesome. Friendly helpful staff, good wireless internet in the common area, clean room, good location, good air-conditioning in the room, tv, free local calls... and the best part: I prayed for a room with a window (not all the rooms in hostels have windows), and not only did we get a room with a window, but the 2 of us are staying in a room meant for 3. Bunk bed and a single bed. =) Not bad at all for a budget hostel. I am very blessed.
9. There's DBS here?!
8. If you look Chinese and can speak a little Cantonese, all you have to do is to say the minimum, point a little and pretend to understand the other person while reading his/her hand gestures to blend in. He/she won't even know you're not catching a word they're saying. At least, when buying street-side food. I'm sure my failure at comprehension will become much more apparent with longer conversations.
7. Toyota sells an amazing number of commercial vehicles. Almost all the taxis here are Toyotas. Same goes with their budget public transport buses (the small ones).
6. There are few other things that will make you feel more local than jaywalking with the locals.
5. Where there are tourists and internet access, there will be Facebook.
4. Elevated pedestrian walkways above roads are a genius invention.
3. Roaming around by myself is pretty fun. Also, I have a very bad memory when it comes to remembering how many right angled turns I've made.
2. I am completely hopeless at reading menus in 繁体字 (the unsimplified form of Chinese). I guess that should be no surprise since I'm already really slow at reading the simplified form, but it's really quite demoralizing to walk up to a street side drinks stall when I'm thirsty and want to order something, but not be able to read the menu and not know how to even ask about the menu (given that I probably look pretty local... besides the camera hanging around my neck).
1. In Hong Kong, there's ALWAYS a chance that you'll feel a few drops of water from the sky, even when the sky is bright and completely cloudless - if you stand in the wrong place under a building. It's rather disturbing really.
But again, I reiterate the first point on top. I am very blessed. I think these few days are going to be great.
10. This hostel we're staying at (Dragon Hostel) is awesome. Friendly helpful staff, good wireless internet in the common area, clean room, good location, good air-conditioning in the room, tv, free local calls... and the best part: I prayed for a room with a window (not all the rooms in hostels have windows), and not only did we get a room with a window, but the 2 of us are staying in a room meant for 3. Bunk bed and a single bed. =) Not bad at all for a budget hostel. I am very blessed.
9. There's DBS here?!
8. If you look Chinese and can speak a little Cantonese, all you have to do is to say the minimum, point a little and pretend to understand the other person while reading his/her hand gestures to blend in. He/she won't even know you're not catching a word they're saying. At least, when buying street-side food. I'm sure my failure at comprehension will become much more apparent with longer conversations.
7. Toyota sells an amazing number of commercial vehicles. Almost all the taxis here are Toyotas. Same goes with their budget public transport buses (the small ones).
6. There are few other things that will make you feel more local than jaywalking with the locals.
5. Where there are tourists and internet access, there will be Facebook.
4. Elevated pedestrian walkways above roads are a genius invention.
3. Roaming around by myself is pretty fun. Also, I have a very bad memory when it comes to remembering how many right angled turns I've made.
2. I am completely hopeless at reading menus in 繁体字 (the unsimplified form of Chinese). I guess that should be no surprise since I'm already really slow at reading the simplified form, but it's really quite demoralizing to walk up to a street side drinks stall when I'm thirsty and want to order something, but not be able to read the menu and not know how to even ask about the menu (given that I probably look pretty local... besides the camera hanging around my neck).
1. In Hong Kong, there's ALWAYS a chance that you'll feel a few drops of water from the sky, even when the sky is bright and completely cloudless - if you stand in the wrong place under a building. It's rather disturbing really.
But again, I reiterate the first point on top. I am very blessed. I think these few days are going to be great.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Forrest is on the internet!
My car's on google maps!
View Larger Map
It's the white station wagon in the middle. And the building to the right of the picture was my dorm in Sophomore (2nd) year. :)
View Larger Map
It's the white station wagon in the middle. And the building to the right of the picture was my dorm in Sophomore (2nd) year. :)
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Praying for someone's salvation?
We often stick to prayers like "God, please move in this person's life." That's good. But I think it's helpful to also start praying prayers like "God, would you show me what you're already doing in his/her life?" God cares about their salvation even more than we do, and often He's already working in their hearts regardless of whether we're aware of it. Our calling is simply to partner with Him.
It reminds me of those Science Centre / Exploratorium exhibits (the good ones). Sometimes He's already been setting everything up perfectly for something fantastic... but He lets us push the button. :)
It reminds me of those Science Centre / Exploratorium exhibits (the good ones). Sometimes He's already been setting everything up perfectly for something fantastic... but He lets us push the button. :)
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Show me Your face
Show me Your face, Lord
Show me Your face
And gird up my legs
That I might stand in this holy place
Show me Your face, Lord
Your power and grace
I could make it to the end
If I could just
Just see Your face
Show me Your face
And gird up my legs
That I might stand in this holy place
Show me Your face, Lord
Your power and grace
I could make it to the end
If I could just
Just see Your face
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Here’s a pretty basic fundamental principle we tend to follow: If our motivation for doing something comes from the hope of attaining something, then our motivation stops when we’ve attained it, at least until we find we want that thing again. (The Economics version of this is the good ol’ fundamental principle, ‘People respond to incentives.’ But I digress.)
For instance, when I bought my car, the guy selling it was very nice and accommodating to me, and one of the things he asked me was whether I wanted to take from him this grill that separates the boot/trunk from the rear passengers (it’s a station wagon). The first owner used to have a dog so he had the grill to keep his dog securely in the boot/trunk area. I said no, didn’t see any point in taking it. Months later I realized that grill was actually worth some cash, so I emailed him asking if I could still get it from him. He said sure, he’d arrange it, but he never got back to me. And I don’t blame him – the transaction was over. And we’re not exactly friends either. There was no more point, no more incentive. But I’m sure if I’d said I wanted it before I’d paid him the money he’d have arranged to get it to me, even if I wasn’t going to give him additional money for it.
Another example; this one a little deeper. I discovered the other day while playing ping pong with a couple of friends that, although I want to win, there are moments when I try harder (and am generally more successful) and there are times when I don’t (and end up making more unforced errors). Actually my friends discovered this before I did and came up with a theory that if they give me praise and affirmation it’ll make me complacent. It was more of a joke than anything serious, but I (secretly) discovered that they were completely right. When they started praising my shots, I started caring less and trying less hard, and it was hard to get the same determination to focus back – until I lost the next point. It was kind of frustrating really.
Later I was thinking about it and asking God why it happened that way – ideally, if someone praises you it should encourage you to try harder, right?
(I’m sure God was somehow speaking to me on this, because suddenly the light went on and things that didn’t make sense before suddenly became more obvious.)
Right – provided your objective is purely to win. But if, for instance, the primary reason why you try to win (or succeed) is to gain approval from someone, then no. Once you receive the approval from that someone, you’re done. Your objective’s been reached. There’s no more reason to try. Winning would still be nice, but the reward may not be worth it anymore. (So… apparently, I have a significant desire to gain others’ approval, as evidenced by my own reaction.)
Here’s my point. First, how we respond to things reveals our motivations, and those motivations aren’t always what we expect them to be. And I think that’s okay. God never intended for us to live from the outside in, but from the inside out. He made us to live naturally from our hearts, to the extent that we sometimes do things that make no sense to our minds and we wonder where it came from. The things of the heart tend to be less obvious to us. (Luke 2:34-35: "This child [Jesus] is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, 35so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed.”) You only need to reveal something that isn’t obvious. Sometimes we like to search others’ intentions – I think once in a while we need to search our own.
Second: When you understand the fundamental principles, everything makes sense. We usually think that human nature is illogical, random and unpredictable; that there are no explanations for what others do and that it’s normal for reactions and emotions to make no sense. But that’s only true in the same way that an aeroplane flying in the sky seems completely illogical and absurd if you don’t understand Bernoulli’s principle. God made us, and God is not random. If something seems illogical, it doesn’t mean there aren’t any reasons, only that we don’t understand them.
What does that mean? It means that if you don’t understand, it’s okay ‘cos He does. It means you don’t ever have to believe in self-doubt or self-condemnation because your heart does or wants things your mind knows it shouldn’t.
It also means that if you really want to understand yourself, you have to know Him ‘cos no one except the Maker understands creation better – the creation He lovingly, carefully and intentionally made. Part of the immense joy I’ve had from discovering and understanding bits of myself is realizing that I actually make sense, that He put me together knowing what He was doing. Somehow that sense of order within myself is a really strong testament to His love for me.
We need to stop trying so hard to perform the right way when our hearts lead us somewhere else. Instead of beating ourselves up for failing to perform, we need to start asking, “what is my heart saying and why?” If you try and force something to go against what it was designed to do easily, at some point it will break. If you’re trying to park your car, and your car is going in the wrong direction, no one gets out and tries to push it sideways. Instead you stop, figure out how to turn the steering wheel so that it naturally wants to go where it should, and if you don’t know how you ask someone to teach you or help you.
By the way, if we find ourselves wanting something we know would do us harm, this doesn’t mean we should always go right ahead and do it anyway. To use the same analogy, if a car is parked at the edge of a cliff and its wheels are pointed at the cliff, you don’t go ahead and drive off it. Neither do you get out of the car and try to force it in a direction it doesn’t want to (and isn’t designed to) go. You sit down, figure out how to turn the steering wheel in the right direction, and then you go. And again, if you don’t know how, you call for help. (A caveat to that: if you do end up driving off the cliff, I believe in a God who is merciful enough to pick you up, heal you and put you back where you need to be. Sometimes He’ll even catch you before you hit the ground.)
Mind was never meant to dictate the heart, nor was heart meant to dictate the mind. There is a purpose for both, and while they may not always agree, they are designed and destined to work together. One of the greatest lies today is that if you can somehow make yourself do good things, and if you force yourself to stop the bad things you desire, it means you are a good person. But I think that what you do and who you are are not the same things at all. Yes, the sign of a good tree is that it produces good fruit. But a tree never has to try to produce fruit. What a tree does try to do is to get sunlight and water. It’ll bend its branches and trunk, use its roots to bust through concrete, just to get light and water. A tree planted in a dark place, or one that only has access to dirty water, will produce bad fruit. In the end, we’re still responsible for the fruit we produce, but if we find ourselves producing bad fruit, the solution isn’t to try harder to change what we do, but to look for the source of bad stuff, cut it off, and keep receiving good stuff.
And that’s one reason why we need God if we want to make it and make it well – only He knows what is good and what isn’t; only He knows how to redirect our roots; and only He can keep supplying us exactly what we need for all our lives. But the most important revelation in all this isn’t just that He can, but that He wants to.
God loves you.
PSALM 139
(v1-4)
O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
(v13-18)
For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.
For instance, when I bought my car, the guy selling it was very nice and accommodating to me, and one of the things he asked me was whether I wanted to take from him this grill that separates the boot/trunk from the rear passengers (it’s a station wagon). The first owner used to have a dog so he had the grill to keep his dog securely in the boot/trunk area. I said no, didn’t see any point in taking it. Months later I realized that grill was actually worth some cash, so I emailed him asking if I could still get it from him. He said sure, he’d arrange it, but he never got back to me. And I don’t blame him – the transaction was over. And we’re not exactly friends either. There was no more point, no more incentive. But I’m sure if I’d said I wanted it before I’d paid him the money he’d have arranged to get it to me, even if I wasn’t going to give him additional money for it.
Another example; this one a little deeper. I discovered the other day while playing ping pong with a couple of friends that, although I want to win, there are moments when I try harder (and am generally more successful) and there are times when I don’t (and end up making more unforced errors). Actually my friends discovered this before I did and came up with a theory that if they give me praise and affirmation it’ll make me complacent. It was more of a joke than anything serious, but I (secretly) discovered that they were completely right. When they started praising my shots, I started caring less and trying less hard, and it was hard to get the same determination to focus back – until I lost the next point. It was kind of frustrating really.
Later I was thinking about it and asking God why it happened that way – ideally, if someone praises you it should encourage you to try harder, right?
(I’m sure God was somehow speaking to me on this, because suddenly the light went on and things that didn’t make sense before suddenly became more obvious.)
Right – provided your objective is purely to win. But if, for instance, the primary reason why you try to win (or succeed) is to gain approval from someone, then no. Once you receive the approval from that someone, you’re done. Your objective’s been reached. There’s no more reason to try. Winning would still be nice, but the reward may not be worth it anymore. (So… apparently, I have a significant desire to gain others’ approval, as evidenced by my own reaction.)
Here’s my point. First, how we respond to things reveals our motivations, and those motivations aren’t always what we expect them to be. And I think that’s okay. God never intended for us to live from the outside in, but from the inside out. He made us to live naturally from our hearts, to the extent that we sometimes do things that make no sense to our minds and we wonder where it came from. The things of the heart tend to be less obvious to us. (Luke 2:34-35: "This child [Jesus] is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, 35so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed.”) You only need to reveal something that isn’t obvious. Sometimes we like to search others’ intentions – I think once in a while we need to search our own.
Second: When you understand the fundamental principles, everything makes sense. We usually think that human nature is illogical, random and unpredictable; that there are no explanations for what others do and that it’s normal for reactions and emotions to make no sense. But that’s only true in the same way that an aeroplane flying in the sky seems completely illogical and absurd if you don’t understand Bernoulli’s principle. God made us, and God is not random. If something seems illogical, it doesn’t mean there aren’t any reasons, only that we don’t understand them.
What does that mean? It means that if you don’t understand, it’s okay ‘cos He does. It means you don’t ever have to believe in self-doubt or self-condemnation because your heart does or wants things your mind knows it shouldn’t.
It also means that if you really want to understand yourself, you have to know Him ‘cos no one except the Maker understands creation better – the creation He lovingly, carefully and intentionally made. Part of the immense joy I’ve had from discovering and understanding bits of myself is realizing that I actually make sense, that He put me together knowing what He was doing. Somehow that sense of order within myself is a really strong testament to His love for me.
We need to stop trying so hard to perform the right way when our hearts lead us somewhere else. Instead of beating ourselves up for failing to perform, we need to start asking, “what is my heart saying and why?” If you try and force something to go against what it was designed to do easily, at some point it will break. If you’re trying to park your car, and your car is going in the wrong direction, no one gets out and tries to push it sideways. Instead you stop, figure out how to turn the steering wheel so that it naturally wants to go where it should, and if you don’t know how you ask someone to teach you or help you.
By the way, if we find ourselves wanting something we know would do us harm, this doesn’t mean we should always go right ahead and do it anyway. To use the same analogy, if a car is parked at the edge of a cliff and its wheels are pointed at the cliff, you don’t go ahead and drive off it. Neither do you get out of the car and try to force it in a direction it doesn’t want to (and isn’t designed to) go. You sit down, figure out how to turn the steering wheel in the right direction, and then you go. And again, if you don’t know how, you call for help. (A caveat to that: if you do end up driving off the cliff, I believe in a God who is merciful enough to pick you up, heal you and put you back where you need to be. Sometimes He’ll even catch you before you hit the ground.)
Mind was never meant to dictate the heart, nor was heart meant to dictate the mind. There is a purpose for both, and while they may not always agree, they are designed and destined to work together. One of the greatest lies today is that if you can somehow make yourself do good things, and if you force yourself to stop the bad things you desire, it means you are a good person. But I think that what you do and who you are are not the same things at all. Yes, the sign of a good tree is that it produces good fruit. But a tree never has to try to produce fruit. What a tree does try to do is to get sunlight and water. It’ll bend its branches and trunk, use its roots to bust through concrete, just to get light and water. A tree planted in a dark place, or one that only has access to dirty water, will produce bad fruit. In the end, we’re still responsible for the fruit we produce, but if we find ourselves producing bad fruit, the solution isn’t to try harder to change what we do, but to look for the source of bad stuff, cut it off, and keep receiving good stuff.
And that’s one reason why we need God if we want to make it and make it well – only He knows what is good and what isn’t; only He knows how to redirect our roots; and only He can keep supplying us exactly what we need for all our lives. But the most important revelation in all this isn’t just that He can, but that He wants to.
God loves you.
PSALM 139
(v1-4)
O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
(v13-18)
For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Ridiculous iPhone apps
Examples of apps you can download from the apple iPhone application store:
-- iFart: Makes farting sounds
-- Hold On: Hold a button for as long as you can
-- MyVibe: Vibrating iPhone
-- FatBurner2K: Burn fat by putting a shaking iPhone on your stomach
-- Nothing: Does nothing
-- iGouge: Poke an eye until it's red
-- Annoy-A-Teen: Emit a high pitch noise for teens
-- iFlush: Flush down a picture of a thing or person
-- Zit Picker: Pinch zits with two fingers
-- Sexy Girl Talk: A sexy girl reads the alphabet
-- Crazy Puppy Massacre: Shoot cartoon puppies
My favorite: An application called I Am Rich that sold for $1000. Apple banned it after 8 people bought it. Totally cracks me up.
(from http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/07/10/BU6A18L6L8.DTL&type=tech)
-- iFart: Makes farting sounds
-- Hold On: Hold a button for as long as you can
-- MyVibe: Vibrating iPhone
-- FatBurner2K: Burn fat by putting a shaking iPhone on your stomach
-- Nothing: Does nothing
-- iGouge: Poke an eye until it's red
-- Annoy-A-Teen: Emit a high pitch noise for teens
-- iFlush: Flush down a picture of a thing or person
-- Zit Picker: Pinch zits with two fingers
-- Sexy Girl Talk: A sexy girl reads the alphabet
-- Crazy Puppy Massacre: Shoot cartoon puppies
My favorite: An application called I Am Rich that sold for $1000. Apple banned it after 8 people bought it. Totally cracks me up.
(from http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/07/10/BU6A18L6L8.DTL&type=tech)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
