so help me God

Two reasons why I haven't updated this blog for quite some time.

First reason: I don't have internet access at home. I live with my mum and she doesn't use computers at all so I canceled my internet subscription when I left for the US. Right now I'm using free wireless from a MacDonalds... it's pretty good tonight though usually the connection is pretty weak and splotchy...

Second reason: Not much has been happening in terms of activities... yet at the same time things have been kinda crazy, in ways that I can't really describe or pinpoint. God's just doing a lot in my life and things are changing.

He told me yesterday to realize I don't know what I'm doing and to trust Him. Which is damn scary. Think about it - if someone tells you he/she doesn't know what he/she is doing with his/her life, you'd probably be inclined to worry. But, well, if you really believe you know what you're doing, then what's there to trust God for? I guess the scarier thing is to think you know what you're doing when you actually don't, like a guy incapacitated by alcohol getting into the driver's seat instead of letting someone drive him home. He told me there's just too much at stake for me to go on without trusting Him. My brain gets it; not sure about my heart. Never mind... I'll just trust God. =)

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." (Pro 3:5-6).


So FYI, I may not update this for a while since I don't have regular access to the internet. Thanks for reading though! I'm touched when someone tells me they read my blog. You really don't have to, but you're welcome to anytime. :)