I made it!

10:30am today: Wonder why Shaowei hasn't called me. I later figure out he forgot I asked him to.

10:50am: I leave for Stanford to check my mail hoping the Budak CD has arrived. It hasn't. I also decide not to get Philz. It's a long drive and I should space out my caffeine intake.

12noon: Arrive at Gilroy. Super packed. Camped out for parking at 2 different spots (Holland-Village-style!) before getting a spot. Have fun shopping with Shaowei Cynthia Clar Qianwen and Bert. Joel, Tam and Joel's family were around there too. I buy a nice maroon long-sleeved shirt and 2 (yeah, 2) pairs of shoes. I feel slightly strange that I bought 2 pairs of shoes at one go. At some point it suddenly occurs to me that there are a ridiculous number of Asian people there (including entire families speaking Mandarin), and almost no white people.

2:50pm: Meet at Applebees for "lunch". Fantastic meal. Steak, shrimp with parmesan (yeah I ate shrimp) and HUGE sides. Oh and quite a bit of pretty good Mango Long Island Iced Tea.

4:30pm: I leave Gilroy for San Diego while the others begin Round 2 of shopping. Was amused at how indignant Clar was about the preposterousness of napping after lunch when there's so much more shopping to do. I also discover that approximately a gazillion other cars decide to leave at the same time as me. It takes me about 10-15 mins just to get out of the parking lot. Thankfully they almost all get into the freeway in the opposite direction I'm going.

About 10 mins later: The sun sets. Was quite nice driving through the curvy roads leading to the I-5 in the dusky lighting. Would have been nice to have some light for more than 30 mins of the drive though.

Some time after that: I realize long solo drives are just like long plane flights when I can't sleep. I spent most of my time listening to my iPod, watching the scenery / clouds go by, sometimes sitting in silence or talking to God. Except this has the added dimension of me also being the pilot.

Somewhere around 8pm or so: Stop for gas. Gas is expensive! Then I realize an extra 20 cents a gallon only translates into an extra $3 for 15 gallons. Not a big deal. Also, I discover the gas station shop is selling Christian T-Shirts. Very random. I saw one that was quite nice. Bought it. :) Oh, and I calculate my average gas mileage. Roughly. It's around 24mpg. Given that almost the whole tank was spent on the freeway, that is abysmal. I am shocked and consequently (and somewhat neurotically) try to shift into neutral whenever I encounter long steep downhills in order to save gas.

Not long after that: No. of cars on the road has increased, and it remains that way until Alan's place. The road is also wider. This is good because driving with many cars around feels much more interesting than driving on a sparsely populated 2-lane freeway.

10:45pm: I suddenly realize the exit is coming up way sooner than expected. I check my mirrors and merge to the right, and as I do that some guy (in an Acura TSX a.k.a. Euro Honda Accord) tries to overtake me from the right going much faster than me. I am momentarily surprised and confused. He ends up having to go on the shoulder for a bit after passing me. I assume it's a guy - few girls drive like that. I am strangely unrattled. Thank God for protection!

10:55pm: I reach Alan's house in San Diego! My drive is officially successful, and surprisingly, caffeine-free. His house looks very nice from what I can see. Pretty good time - I expected it to take about 7 hours but made it here in 6 hrs and 15 mins, including one gas stop (yup I only stopped once). Well. Technically it was 6 hrs and 25 mins, but I feel justified in discounting the 10 mins it took to get out of parking. Amazingly, there was no LA traffic problems, save about 5-10 minutes in slow-moving traffic because a lot of cars were getting out at this one particular road.

Ok. Time to shower and sleep. My eyes are really tired... worst part about driving at night is the constant glare from the oncoming headlights. But thank God Forrest and I made it here in one piece! =)

Christmas!

I was in Christmas service yesterday (Christmas Eve), and it dawned on me: God's most precious gift to us isn't that He gave Himself for us. It's that He gave Himself TO us.

geez. Talk about big revelation.

I feel like I'm waking up, like I've been semi-conscious all of Fall Quarter and the hunger is just starting to resurface. It's always been there, but kind of like hidden under the ice, and the ice is melting. Or something of the sort.

Today I was home (well, at Alan Jerry & John's house in Palo Alto, but it's home for these few weeks) for almost the whole day with John and his sis Jen. It was good. Spent time thinking about Jesus, praying and yearning. Went out for groceries, did some errands, then went to Qianwen & Clar's (and Shaowei's? hm. maybe I shouldn't stretch it) to cook. John and Jen came too and joined us for dinner. Afterwards I sent John and Jen to the airport, came back and nuahed with everyone in front of the TV. Cynthia came over too.

It was nice. It was for something like this that I decided I would be around this area for Christmas (and New Year's too). Can't imagine any other group of friends I'd rather spend Christmas evening with. :)

Going down to San Diego tomorrow! It's about an 8 hour drive. Going to stay with Alan until New Year's Eve when I'll drive back up and join the rest here for New Year's.

My plan for tomorrow:

10:30am (or so): Leave the house I'm staying at in Palo Alto. Get Philz coffee perhaps? And maybe go to campus to see if the Budak Pantai CD Angie sent me has arrived. :)
11:30am: Arrive in Gilroy. Shop. I need shoes. But also, hang out with Shaowei, Cynthia, Clar and Qianwen who will also be there.
Before 2pm or so: Have and finish lunch, then drive drive drive. =)
Arrive at Alan's around 9pm. Maybe later if there's traffic (which there is a good chance of methinks).

Most people don't like driving alone. I'm looking forward to it. Time alone driving is usually fun for me. It's also good God time.

Time for bed. :)

Isn't it ironic...

(courtesy of xkcd.com)

I am now an amateur motoring journalist!

Oh man. This is so cool. Always thought of being a car journalist. Never imagined I'd be doing it now.

middleclassmotoring.com. Scroll down till you see "Scion xB review and our new contributing writer." Bookmark the site if you like it! And spread the word if you know anyone who might like it - it's a pretty new site. =)

If you can't find the article for some reason, here's a direct link.

Jesus said...

"You are My friends if you do whatever I command you." Jn 15:14

We so often get tripped up on the 'whatever I command you' part. Read the whole passage, the whole chapter. It's not an invitation to obey His commands. It's an invitation to know Him. To be a friend of Jesus. Read it for yourself - the entire chapter talks about abiding in Jesus, about knowing Him, being with Him. It trips us up because the idea of a command is so foreign to us that we can't associate it with love. But ignore that for a second. Forget that He even mentioned the word 'command.' Hear His cry, His desire for personal closeness, to know you and to have you know Him.

And then you'll realize why Jn 15:14 makes sense. Because when you find that you'll do anything He asks without thought or hesitation, you'll know you've come to love Him as deeply as He loves you.

The Quest To Know God

I just started reading Francis Chan's book Crazy Love. Don't know why I didn't like it the first time I picked it up a year ago when De Wen had it. Now I can't even get past the first few pages of the first chapter.

Nothing earthshakingly new. Just this:

"Solomon warned us not to rush into God's presence with words. That's what fools do... The wise man comes to God without saying a word and stands in awe of Him."

When you realize that God isn't just a concept but a person to be known, just like any other person in your life, the entire quest for truth boils down to one simple, scary question: "Who is God?"

It's been a while since I've been silent before God. With God. No need for petition, no complaints to make; simply resting in the knowledge that He already knows all that I am, and free to consider who He is.

After talking with Pa about the good and bad about Singapore last night, I thought this quote by Goethe I just spied from a bumper sticker parked in front of me was particularly apt:

"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free."

I'm finally here... whew...

At Lisa & Daniel's place in SF. My first thought when I entered: where's the remote for the air con? And then I realized there isn't one. Feels weird not to have air-conditioning again. It also feels weird to just be here in the Bay Area again. The air is so nice and fresh and cool, the sky is bright, everything looks familiar... and yet it feels, once again, like I'm a little out of place. This summer was too long and I spent way too much of it in the working world. Now I'm not sure I dare to seek again the freedom I loved experiencing and pursuing at Stanford, the newfound freedom God's brought me into over the past 3 years, if it's only going to be taken away again next July/August when I start work again. I wish I didn't have to take time to get used to this place all over again. The sad thing is, a part of me knows that whatever differences between Stanford and Singapore that I get used to now, I'll have to unlearn all over again in a short 9-10 months time.

It was quite a journey getting here. Jirong waited with me and all my luggage on a crowded street in Hong Kong for the bus. Took the bus to the HK airport and boarded a 11+hour flight. Slept about 2 hours on the plane, read about 80 pages of this Isaac Asimov book my dad lent me and watched 3 full movies. Got out of my seat once in the whole 11+ hours. In the process of this flight, the stewardess was giving out immigration forms and she rather insistently convinced me that I needed the green one (i.e. for visa-waiver countries like Singapore) and not the white one. When I gave her a puzzled look and said I have a student visa and I've never filled in the green one before, she said "well in that case I could just take the [green] form back" without offering a white one to me. Silly me let her half-guilt-trip-half-convince me into taking the green one, only to find out at immigration that I was right all along. Then, in order to get from the airport to Daniel's place, I had to take a BART train 1 stop north to San Bruno, then take another BART train 1 stop in the opposite direction (south) to Millbrae, to finally switch directions again and catch the northbound Caltrain to San Francisco, because although the Caltrain links up with the airport BART line at Millbrae, it only does so on weekends, and weekdays after 7pm, so when it's not then there's no direct connection between the airport and the Caltrain. :/ Why couldn't they just connect the Caltrain to the airport BART at San Bruno instead?? I also had to wait for the Caltrain for about 25 minutes. And this whole complicated train journey that would've only taken me 10-15 minutes to drive but took me almost 2 whole hours cost me US$8.25. REALLY makes me miss the efficient and cheap transportation networks in Singapore and HK already.

But I bet my mood'll pick up after I get some rest. And I'm sure I'll feel better once I get my car back. :D

My spoof of David Letterman: Top 10 Thoughts about HK on my first day here

Warning: Not funny like David Letterman's List

10. This hostel we're staying at (Dragon Hostel) is awesome. Friendly helpful staff, good wireless internet in the common area, clean room, good location, good air-conditioning in the room, tv, free local calls... and the best part: I prayed for a room with a window (not all the rooms in hostels have windows), and not only did we get a room with a window, but the 2 of us are staying in a room meant for 3. Bunk bed and a single bed. =) Not bad at all for a budget hostel. I am very blessed.

9. There's DBS here?!

8. If you look Chinese and can speak a little Cantonese, all you have to do is to say the minimum, point a little and pretend to understand the other person while reading his/her hand gestures to blend in. He/she won't even know you're not catching a word they're saying. At least, when buying street-side food. I'm sure my failure at comprehension will become much more apparent with longer conversations.

7. Toyota sells an amazing number of commercial vehicles. Almost all the taxis here are Toyotas. Same goes with their budget public transport buses (the small ones).

6. There are few other things that will make you feel more local than jaywalking with the locals.

5. Where there are tourists and internet access, there will be Facebook.

4. Elevated pedestrian walkways above roads are a genius invention.

3. Roaming around by myself is pretty fun. Also, I have a very bad memory when it comes to remembering how many right angled turns I've made.

2. I am completely hopeless at reading menus in 繁体字 (the unsimplified form of Chinese). I guess that should be no surprise since I'm already really slow at reading the simplified form, but it's really quite demoralizing to walk up to a street side drinks stall when I'm thirsty and want to order something, but not be able to read the menu and not know how to even ask about the menu (given that I probably look pretty local... besides the camera hanging around my neck).

1. In Hong Kong, there's ALWAYS a chance that you'll feel a few drops of water from the sky, even when the sky is bright and completely cloudless - if you stand in the wrong place under a building. It's rather disturbing really.


But again, I reiterate the first point on top. I am very blessed. I think these few days are going to be great.

Forrest is on the internet!

My car's on google maps!


View Larger Map

It's the white station wagon in the middle. And the building to the right of the picture was my dorm in Sophomore (2nd) year. :)

Praying for someone's salvation?

We often stick to prayers like "God, please move in this person's life." That's good. But I think it's helpful to also start praying prayers like "God, would you show me what you're already doing in his/her life?" God cares about their salvation even more than we do, and often He's already working in their hearts regardless of whether we're aware of it. Our calling is simply to partner with Him.

It reminds me of those Science Centre / Exploratorium exhibits (the good ones). Sometimes He's already been setting everything up perfectly for something fantastic... but He lets us push the button. :)

Show me Your face

Show me Your face, Lord
Show me Your face
And gird up my legs
That I might stand in this holy place

Show me Your face, Lord
Your power and grace
I could make it to the end
If I could just
Just see Your face

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Here’s a pretty basic fundamental principle we tend to follow: If our motivation for doing something comes from the hope of attaining something, then our motivation stops when we’ve attained it, at least until we find we want that thing again. (The Economics version of this is the good ol’ fundamental principle, ‘People respond to incentives.’ But I digress.)

For instance, when I bought my car, the guy selling it was very nice and accommodating to me, and one of the things he asked me was whether I wanted to take from him this grill that separates the boot/trunk from the rear passengers (it’s a station wagon). The first owner used to have a dog so he had the grill to keep his dog securely in the boot/trunk area. I said no, didn’t see any point in taking it. Months later I realized that grill was actually worth some cash, so I emailed him asking if I could still get it from him. He said sure, he’d arrange it, but he never got back to me. And I don’t blame him – the transaction was over. And we’re not exactly friends either. There was no more point, no more incentive. But I’m sure if I’d said I wanted it before I’d paid him the money he’d have arranged to get it to me, even if I wasn’t going to give him additional money for it.

Another example; this one a little deeper. I discovered the other day while playing ping pong with a couple of friends that, although I want to win, there are moments when I try harder (and am generally more successful) and there are times when I don’t (and end up making more unforced errors). Actually my friends discovered this before I did and came up with a theory that if they give me praise and affirmation it’ll make me complacent. It was more of a joke than anything serious, but I (secretly) discovered that they were completely right. When they started praising my shots, I started caring less and trying less hard, and it was hard to get the same determination to focus back – until I lost the next point. It was kind of frustrating really.

Later I was thinking about it and asking God why it happened that way – ideally, if someone praises you it should encourage you to try harder, right?

(I’m sure God was somehow speaking to me on this, because suddenly the light went on and things that didn’t make sense before suddenly became more obvious.)

Right – provided your objective is purely to win. But if, for instance, the primary reason why you try to win (or succeed) is to gain approval from someone, then no. Once you receive the approval from that someone, you’re done. Your objective’s been reached. There’s no more reason to try. Winning would still be nice, but the reward may not be worth it anymore. (So… apparently, I have a significant desire to gain others’ approval, as evidenced by my own reaction.)

Here’s my point. First, how we respond to things reveals our motivations, and those motivations aren’t always what we expect them to be. And I think that’s okay. God never intended for us to live from the outside in, but from the inside out. He made us to live naturally from our hearts, to the extent that we sometimes do things that make no sense to our minds and we wonder where it came from. The things of the heart tend to be less obvious to us. (Luke 2:34-35: "This child [Jesus] is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, 35so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed.”) You only need to reveal something that isn’t obvious. Sometimes we like to search others’ intentions – I think once in a while we need to search our own.

Second: When you understand the fundamental principles, everything makes sense. We usually think that human nature is illogical, random and unpredictable; that there are no explanations for what others do and that it’s normal for reactions and emotions to make no sense. But that’s only true in the same way that an aeroplane flying in the sky seems completely illogical and absurd if you don’t understand Bernoulli’s principle. God made us, and God is not random. If something seems illogical, it doesn’t mean there aren’t any reasons, only that we don’t understand them.

What does that mean? It means that if you don’t understand, it’s okay ‘cos He does. It means you don’t ever have to believe in self-doubt or self-condemnation because your heart does or wants things your mind knows it shouldn’t.

It also means that if you really want to understand yourself, you have to know Him ‘cos no one except the Maker understands creation better – the creation He lovingly, carefully and intentionally made. Part of the immense joy I’ve had from discovering and understanding bits of myself is realizing that I actually make sense, that He put me together knowing what He was doing. Somehow that sense of order within myself is a really strong testament to His love for me.

We need to stop trying so hard to perform the right way when our hearts lead us somewhere else. Instead of beating ourselves up for failing to perform, we need to start asking, “what is my heart saying and why?” If you try and force something to go against what it was designed to do easily, at some point it will break. If you’re trying to park your car, and your car is going in the wrong direction, no one gets out and tries to push it sideways. Instead you stop, figure out how to turn the steering wheel so that it naturally wants to go where it should, and if you don’t know how you ask someone to teach you or help you.

By the way, if we find ourselves wanting something we know would do us harm, this doesn’t mean we should always go right ahead and do it anyway. To use the same analogy, if a car is parked at the edge of a cliff and its wheels are pointed at the cliff, you don’t go ahead and drive off it. Neither do you get out of the car and try to force it in a direction it doesn’t want to (and isn’t designed to) go. You sit down, figure out how to turn the steering wheel in the right direction, and then you go. And again, if you don’t know how, you call for help. (A caveat to that: if you do end up driving off the cliff, I believe in a God who is merciful enough to pick you up, heal you and put you back where you need to be. Sometimes He’ll even catch you before you hit the ground.)

Mind was never meant to dictate the heart, nor was heart meant to dictate the mind. There is a purpose for both, and while they may not always agree, they are designed and destined to work together. One of the greatest lies today is that if you can somehow make yourself do good things, and if you force yourself to stop the bad things you desire, it means you are a good person. But I think that what you do and who you are are not the same things at all. Yes, the sign of a good tree is that it produces good fruit. But a tree never has to try to produce fruit. What a tree does try to do is to get sunlight and water. It’ll bend its branches and trunk, use its roots to bust through concrete, just to get light and water. A tree planted in a dark place, or one that only has access to dirty water, will produce bad fruit. In the end, we’re still responsible for the fruit we produce, but if we find ourselves producing bad fruit, the solution isn’t to try harder to change what we do, but to look for the source of bad stuff, cut it off, and keep receiving good stuff.

And that’s one reason why we need God if we want to make it and make it well – only He knows what is good and what isn’t; only He knows how to redirect our roots; and only He can keep supplying us exactly what we need for all our lives. But the most important revelation in all this isn’t just that He can, but that He wants to.

God loves you.



PSALM 139

(v1-4)
O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
     You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
     And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
     But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.


(v13-18)
For You formed my inward parts;
     You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
     Marvelous are Your works,
     And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
     When I was made in secret,
     And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
     And in Your book they all were written,
     The days fashioned for me,
     When as yet there were none of them.

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
     How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
     When I awake, I am still with You.

Ridiculous iPhone apps

Examples of apps you can download from the apple iPhone application store:

-- iFart: Makes farting sounds

-- Hold On: Hold a button for as long as you can

-- MyVibe: Vibrating iPhone

-- FatBurner2K: Burn fat by putting a shaking iPhone on your stomach

-- Nothing: Does nothing

-- iGouge: Poke an eye until it's red

-- Annoy-A-Teen: Emit a high pitch noise for teens

-- iFlush: Flush down a picture of a thing or person

-- Zit Picker: Pinch zits with two fingers

-- Sexy Girl Talk: A sexy girl reads the alphabet

-- Crazy Puppy Massacre: Shoot cartoon puppies

My favorite: An application called I Am Rich that sold for $1000. Apple banned it after 8 people bought it. Totally cracks me up.

(from http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/07/10/BU6A18L6L8.DTL&type=tech)

Technology (and Google specifically) is amazing

I am at this moment in a parking lot outside Best Buy in Mountain View, using the free wireless that Google provides to its home city (i.e. Mountain View). Alan and I are trying to fix my car (the trunk light permanently stays on - we've taken out the entire locking mechanism and figured out that something in the trunk got bent so that the locking mechanism doesn't shut all the way) and the last he was here, he was saying we need to have a hammer to try and knock the bent part back into place. So I pulled up my laptop, did a quick search and found a hardware store just down the road from where we are. Possibly within walking distance. Currently waiting for Alan to return from the hardware store, and in the meantime I am marveling at the fact that I have access to free wireless internet (which works pretty well!) from the middle of a suburban carpark.

This is good...

If doing well is part of my sense of identity, then the better I do, the more independent from God I become.

(Part of) my Cantonese Final

The cast got upgraded a little. ;) Thanks Kozey.

A video I did together with Wenqi for our Cantonese final. Starring Bertram and Cecilia.




Translation:

M: Hello, is A-Cheui around?
- Sorry, A-cheui just went out. May I ask who's speaking please?
M: This is A-Mahn, I'm his classmate. Could you please tell me when he'll be back?
- I think he should be back in an hour.
M: Great. I'll call back later then. Thanks! bye!
- You're welcome. Bye!


M: Hello, is A-Cheui there?
C: Speaking. Who is this please?
M: This is A-Mahn.
C: Oh! A-Mahn, hi!!
M: The holidays are coming up - I'm thinking of going on a trip. How about you?
C: I'd like to go on a trip too. Where do you want to go?
M: I really want to go to Hong Kong. Have you been to Hong Kong before?
C: Yeap, I've been to Hong Kong once. But I don't mind going again!
M: Is Hong Kong a fun place to visit?
C: Oh yes. The scenery there is nice, transportation is really convenient, and the food is really yummy.
M: That's great! When did you go?
C: I went there in August last year. Where in Hong Kong would you want to go?
M: I've heard people say that Victoria Harbour, the Big Buddha and the Museum of Coastal Defense are must-sees.
C: Ok. Also, I haven't been to Ocean Park before, what say you we go together?
M: Sure! Hrm. How long do you think we should spend in Hong Kong?
C: I think about 5 days or so should be enough.
M: Ok. Do you know what the weather in Hong Kong is like in June?
C: Hong Kong's weather in June is generally hot and humid. It won't rain at all.
M: Oh ok, so we should bring t-shirts, shorts, sandals and a cap too.
C: AND lots of cash if you want to go shopping. Stuff there is pretty expensive.
M: Sure. Is the food there expensive too?
C: Eh... depends on where you eat. The noodle houses aren't expensive. The food they sell there is all really good. You can order wonton noodles, mixed pork porridge, vegetables in oyster sauce and many other things.
M: Wahhh... You're making me hungry! Hey, why don't we go grab some dim sum?
C: Sure! We can talk more when we're there.
M: 1 o'clock, Fu Lam Mun Restaurant at Castro Street. Okay?
C: Sounds good. See you then. Bye!
M: Bye!

This is how I shall achieve fame and fortune... livestock petting.

http://www.stanforddaily.com/cgi-bin/?p=1031438

Find rest my soul

“You only have power over the storm you have peace in.” - Bill Johnson

Don’t be afraid of the fear. It can’t harm me. Don’t be afraid of falling. God can catch me. Don’t be afraid of hurting people. God can heal them. Don’t be afraid of being hurt. God can heal me. Don't be afraid of who I really am. God made me.

Don’t be afraid. Be bold. Be yourself.

(sounds like some kind of Nike commercial slogan doesn't it... oh well.)

This was part of my Cantonese Midterm

I honestly never thought I'd be doing something like this. :P



Translation:

N: Hey, Simon, hello!
S: Nancy! Hi! Wah, the weather today is really warm.
N: Yes it is. Yesterday I thought it'd be dristling today, but the weather today turned out really nice. Did you go out today?
S: No, I had to go to work today.
N: Oh, where do you work?
S: I work at a noodle shop (wanted to say dim sum restaurant but couldn't find the word for restaurant). We sell a lot of things... there's soup noodles, fried noodles, porridge, vegetables... we've got everything!
N: Wah, that sounds yummy! Wonton noodles are my favorite.
S: Mmm, wonton noodles are good. How about you, did you go out today?
N: I did, I went shopping for clothes
S: Oh. What did you buy?
N: I bought a suit. I work in a bank, so I usually have to dress really formal.
S: Wah, so 麻烦 (troublesome). Eh, my boss is here. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?
N: Okay, see you tomorrow. Bye bye!
S: Bye bye!

"Who do you say I am?"

Some say I am one of many good ways to live;
The preference of many, but not true for all.
Some say I'm a philosophy;
A way of living
A moral code.

Some seek Me for the benefits of My kingdom;
The healings, the provision,
The assurance of moral character for their children.

Some say My Son was a prophet;
That He pointed to God
but that He is no more.
Yet some others say I still Am, but that I no longer speak.

Some say I am distant - a cross on a wall.
They think their prayers are like small memos to Me.

Some say I am the way, and rightly so;
But they do not seek Me.
Some say I judge
But they do not believe in My love.


Who do you say I am?
Do you think you will find me if I don't lead you to Me?
Which of man's images of Me have ever proven to be good?

Let Me show Myself to you,
And you will know Me.

My car turns 120(000)!

Friendship prevails in stupidity

Photos from Mexico

SEE THEM HERE!!

And this one too

http://comics.com/pearls_before_swine/2009-03-29/

This is great

Click on it for the full thing



hee hee

And the heavens opened up...

It's 3:05pm. I'm 10 minutes early, and I've finished my last final. Well, it's only 10 minutes. I'll do a last flip through my answers to make sure I answered everything.

3:15pm. The TA still isn't here yet. What gives?

3:18pm. About 4 other people around me are packing up and leaving. I figure I'm not going to wait any more, just turn it in and leave. We enter the elevator, about 4 other people talking at the top of their voices about how questions 1 2 and 3 were so similar. It's a small elevator guys, don't need to yell. Then again I guess 3 hours of repressed silence needs to be let out somehow.

We meet the TA as we exit the elevator, and he says take care and have a good break. You too! Amidst the chatter, we step outside and immediately I realize something feels different. The air smells the same, the sun looks just as bright, but something's different. I guess this is what freedom feels like. You never notice the cloudy burden you've let settle around you until it's gone.

Seriously, things feel different. I walk back with a slightly slower step than 3 hours ago when I walked to my last final. I look up and the sky - 3 hours before perfectly blue and completely cloudless - is now littered with smatterings of cloud, blown about by the wind of God's breath. Light streaks of white here, a little dash of it there, and voila! A beautiful cloudless blue sky made even more beautiful by the Artist who paints with the wind and colors with the sun. 2 planes landing at San Francisco airport pass by as I look up.

This is what Freedom feels like. The world is suddenly my oyster. I can go anywhere now, be in any place, do anything, be with anyone. The invisible walls have been lifted - I couldn't see them before, but I can feel that they're gone. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. This is only a taste, like the tiny sample of chocolate ice cream you get before the real thing, the large enough to make you love it but not enough to satisfy.

Well, I'm going to enjoy it while it's here. Mexico, here I come!

Musings on Engrish

From straitstimes.com:

"SINGAPORE may have cut its corporate income tax rate to a relatively low 17 per cent, but it is not a tax haven, Senior Minister of State for Finance and Transport Lim Hwee Hua said yesterday.

That is because the Republic has a strong rule of law, and companies based here have concrete business activities. This is unlike other tax havens..." (emphasis added)

I know I'm being picky, but does anyone else notice the contradiction?

Of course, I'm sure if I wrote stuff in a Chinese newspaper I'd have a ton of linguistic errors far worse than that. But that's why I'm writing in an English blog and not a Chinese newspaper. I wonder how hard it actually is in practice to do linguistic checks on all the articles in a newspaper. Maybe there actually are a lot more tiny errors in the Asian Wall Street Journal or the New York Times than we'd be inclined to think.

On that note, has anyone noticed that every country that has ever adopted English as their primary language has eventually developed its own version of it? And nobody's ever ashamed of it. In fact usually they're proud of it. Heck, even individual states in the U.S. have their own slang and vocabulary. For instance, in the U.S., you say "standing in line" instead of "queueing up", EXCEPT in New York (and New Jersey too I think) where you say "standing on line" instead. Amazing isn't it?

So why is it that nobody in Singapore understands the concept of developing our own 'proper' version of the language? By that I don't mean the intellectual study and production of the Rules and Regulations of Singaporean English by some Official National Singaporean English Departmental Committee or the likes (that would be really sad and hilarious at the same time), but just the simple organic development of a localised version of the language that isn't just regarded as uneducated slang. Everything in us wants to do what every other society in the existence of the world has always wanted to do and adapt the language we have inherited to our own context and culture. But our standard of "correct" English continues to be what has developed in a foreign country, culture and context over centuries, and we beat ourselves down when our cultural instincts produce a language that is inconsistent with that. No wonder hardly anyone in Singapore speaks "good" English, and those that do often have others thinking that they must have grown up somewhere else. Granted, the language did originate from somewhere else - but it's ours now.

Let it be clear, though, that I'm not arguing against the lack of Singaporean English - I'm arguing against the mindset that we must prevent such a 'monstrosity' from evolving, in order to ensure our long run survival in the world. Do we really want to kill off our own cultural instincts for the sake of money? We may be the most modernized country in South-East Asia, but let's not try to be the most bland too.

I suppose the same can be said of Mandarin, but I'm not really in a place to argue that. Don't know much about the different linguistic developments of Mandarin in different parts of China or in Chinese communities in different countries. And my Mandarin is actually authentically sub-par. Yup, I do think there is such a thing as bad Chinese. And bad English. No matter how much English evolves in Singapore, I still think that the hawker centre sign that says "There are more sitting at the rear" will never be considered grammatically correct. (http://english.stomp.com.sg/english/photos/1018_eng_rear.jpg)

Yes, there is bad English. But just because our English is different doesn't mean it's bad. Let me share one of my proudest moments of being a Singaporean that comes up over and over again. I am absolutely thrilled every time an American asks me what language I'm speaking when they overhear me speaking English in my Singaporean accent to Singaporean friends. I love it even more when I tell them it's English and they go, "no, that other language". And then after I explain that it's just English in a different accent, they look really confused and start apologizing while trying to make sense of it in their heads, and I'm still reveling in abundant delight. I'm not exaggerating, I really do love it. And even if I had trouble communicating with Americans for the rest of my life, I still wouldn't want that to change. I've never been prouder of "bad" English in my life.

So yes, I speak English, and I'm proud of it. And after living in the U.S. for over 2 years, I can speak a little American too. But don't expect me to be speaking British. (Unless you're British and you don't understand me - I'll try learning it just for you. Really.) And I hope and pray that 40 years from today, after I've had the chance to communicate with many more people from many more places around the world, my native tongue will still and forever continue to confound non-natives.

I find this hilarious

From the San Francisco Chronicle, on London's largest snowfall in 18 years which fell in London Sunday night and Monday:

"In the southwestern city of Bristol, zookeepers said a group of lion-tailed macaque monkeys were spotted making and eating snowballs. Police in Wales scolded children after officers fielded double the usual number of complaint calls — most from adults complaining about young people hurling snowballs."

Dr. YHWH

A lot of us in church have heard someone refer to God as a doctor. Often it's in reference to His power and willingness to do miracles of physical healing, and many times it's to do with emotional healing too. But I just had this revelation today as I was sitting in Jack In The Box with Shaowei and De Wen. The mental picture many of us (like me) get when we think of the kind of doctor God is is a G.P., a family doctor. He cares, He's nice to you, He listens to your problems, and then He gives you a bunch of different kinds of pills and sends you on your way, saying "here, take these, go home and follow the prescription and you'll get better." The subtle implication is "If you don't, I can't guarantee you'll get better and you only have yourself to blame for not following my directions." And so we try different methods. We try believing in faith, praying prayers of faith, watching our words and keeping our lips clean, staying faithful in our Bible reading or our quiet time. We try praising God, speaking in tongues, being faithful in our tithes and offerings, all in the hope that our faithfulness will bring about completeness and restoration.

But I realized, God isn't like that. He's more like a surgeon, the kind who meets you before the surgery to assure you that even though He can't explain everything he's going to do, it'll be alright and you don't have to worry. Then you go in, unconscious, and He painstakingly goes in to fix what He deems is in need of fixing, taking every effort and every minute and hour that's necessary to get the job done. Then He sews you back up, you wake up and He comes in with a smile on His face and says you're going to be okay and that you were very brave to go through this. He's the kind of doctor who will never force you to lie down on his operating table, but will only operate on you once you stop struggling completely and be willing to lay yourself down at His mercy. And He's the kind of doctor who, even if you go out after the surgery and do something to get injured again, won't be angry at you for being silly. Instead, He welcomes you with a gentle sense of urgency, operates on whatever needs operating on, and tells you that you were not only brave this time too, but you were also wise to come back to Him again instead of staying away out of shame or guilt.

And the best part of all this is, I don't have to know what's wrong or how to fix myself. Like Shaowei said, I (we) have got to learn not just to believe that God can and wants to heal, but to also learn to give Him the healing. I can try and fix myself, but it won't work. All I have to do is lay myself down and let Him do the rest according to His own timing and will; a will that is good and perfect not just for the sake of the rest of the world, but for mine too, because He cares for me. And in this relationship, because He laid (lays) Himself down for me, I am free to lay myself down for Him.